10:00 pm Stem Cell Leukemia Transplant Blog 11/29/15 Is this what is actually happening? I find it hard to believe!

MONDAY

I’ve been sick far too long!  I’ve been on a sickness carousel. This has been a revolving door of low-grade and high-grade misery. Sometimes it feels as though it will never end or that the ending that I get is one that I’ll find very disappointing (even after all of this). I can’t make sense out of any of this.

Now I’m feeling better again. My lungs are beginning to clear the fluid out from around them. I’m feeling quite a bit better.

It can be very easy to lose perspective. I’ve come close. Doing my best to persevere.

TUESDAY

I feel a little bit better again today. This is giving me more relief.

Had a bone density test today. I also saw the doctor. They are beginning to zero in on the lungs and the fluid around them as the main cause of my afflictions. That seems to be closer to the heart of the matter. I’m satisfied that I’m getting the help that I need. Now I’ve got to take enough of the medicine to ensure that I can regain my health. Missed almost all of my medications today because of being so busy, on the one hand, and weak on the other. Have to make sure this doesn’t happen again. I’m so tired and weak all of the time plus, there are more than 30 medications that I take every day. Need to get this done! Never thought that survival might come down to an issue as simple as this. Can’t let that happen.

WEDNESDAY

So far this has been a very difficult week. In spite of all of the problems, my blood chemistry is looking better every time I receive the results. Considering how I feel, this is amazing! Eating a little bit more all of the time. At some point there has to be a breakthrough, doesn’t there?

Gerrit and Cheryl will be here tomorrow. A touch of reality in an otherwise surreal situation. Nothing is proceeding the way that I would have expected it to or wanted it to.

THURSDAY

Cheryl and Gerrit arrived around noon. Very good to see them. Still don’t feel well. I want to feel healthy again so badly!

Swollen ankle due to water retention? Didn’t sleep much last night. Need to get all of these things under control. There are so many ways to be uncomfortable! I’m discovering more of them all the time. I need to be able to eat and to rest before I get to go home. As simple as all of this appears, I need to figure out how to do it.

At least I’m beginning to eat better again. Wish I could get clear of these other problems.

Living this way takes courage, more than I could ever have imagined. The longer this goes on, the harder it is. I’m very hard-pressed!  The only saving grace that I can find in this situation is that I am gradually getting better!  It was good to see Cheryl and Gerrit. Cheryl played her piccolo for us after dinner. She played the movements that she soloed in her concert the previous week which means I was privileged to hear them. She is so good. It was wonderful to hear her play again. Too bad they went back home the same day.

FRIDAY

If  I were a drinker, I would say that I felt “hung over”. At any rate, I’m feeling the same lack of clarity and a similar level of confusion. It’s begun to pass during the course of the day. Was it something that I ate yesterday? Eating very slowly but eating almost continually now. I’m eating simple foods but they have appeal to me! I’ve been able to eat and rest all day. It’s been really nice.

SATURDAY

It’s a dark and gloomy day with temperatures close to freezing. The good news is that I’m feeling better again. Wish I could get rid of this water retention. Everything is beginning to look up. I should have enough strength soon to show some  initiative and get things done, perhaps work a little bit. I’m looking forward to it.

Right now, I’m eating Oreo cookies and a new type of Town House cookie, neither of which I probably should be eating but which demonstrate how much better I feel right now.

SUNDAY

Definitely getting better. I’ll go to church then I’ll rest up today for a trying week to come: Removing fluid from around my lungs on Monday and a bone marrow biopsy on Wednesday. For the most part, I’ve enjoyed the week. Hoping next week is even better.

This has been a promising week with a complete change of directions regarding my health. It looks as though my primary health problems are being resolved. I relieved and very thankful! Let’s see what next week brings instead!

Good night!

2 thoughts on “10:00 pm Stem Cell Leukemia Transplant Blog 11/29/15 Is this what is actually happening? I find it hard to believe!

  1. Hello Bruce: I’ve been following your blog; your ups and downs. So glad your kids came to visit this Thanksgiving and that you’re eating Oreos! Small but significant events can get you through a day. I’ve been thinking of calling but have hesitated as I wondered if you tire of folks like me asking you how you are – silly I know. When is a good time to call? Do know that I think you’ve been courageous throughout – no small feat to come as far as you have come.

    • Hi Allen: Apologize for all of the negativity but this has been tough lately. I don’t know if it sounded that way but this week turned the corner. I’ve been eating almost continually (even if not a lot). Rice has been my salvation for sure! Can’t eat today until after my procedure (around 3pm) and the same will be true on Wednesday but not nearly as late.

      Best time to talk to us? Ordinarily in the afternoon after around 2-3pm.

      I’m definitely healthier but not much more comfortable than I was before. I need to gain back a lot of weight and strength before I’ll feel better. Nothing but skin and bone right now. (Gollum would be proud!)

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