Hooray! Got to go to church today. First time in a couple of months. It felt good even though I had to “keep my distance” from the other members while I was there. Can’t afford to get an infection at this point. It was a good experience for me!
What the future holds is another matter. We’ll see about that when the time comes.
I’ve felt very quiet for the last couple of days. There are times when I wish that I understood myself better. Is this something everybody goes through?
Where do I go from here? Survival is looking more and more likely with a good chance of complete recovery. If that’s the case, what will I do with the rest of my life?
Will I be able to live a high-energy lifestyle or will I be reduced to living the life of an idle witness to the events in the world around me? Above all, I want to spend my time wisely and well. I’d like to be productive in the most complete sense of the word. What’s really going to happen and how much control will I have over it?
My mind hasn’t been very clear or really active in the last several days. This is probably due to the changes that are taking place in my body as a result of the transplant.
At least I’ve been able to relax. When I get back to the hospital tomorrow the blood tests will show how “stable” my blood chemistry is capable of being without 24/7 monitoring which, frankly, is beginning to wear on me.
Have a lot of things that I need to get done in the next several days including the completion of the sleep study or, at the very least, get it scheduled.
I’m eating and gaining weight a little bit every day. This is crucial. Can’t do much of anything else until I’ve reached safe weight levels with a corresponding increase in strength. It’s becoming easier to do now that food tastes good again.
As a footnote to all of this, I have 29 regularly scheduled pills that I take on a daily basis as well as those which are administered on an “as needed” basis. I have no idea of how I would keep track of all of this without my wife’s help.
Ever since the graft versus host medicine was adjusted I’ve been feeling calmer and quieter. The flareups of skin irritation and itching have been less severe and less frequent as well. My gastric problems have almost been eliminated as well. Now if I could only think, and plan, and follow through most of the time I’d be doing pretty well. Hopefully, I’ll have more to say tomorrow than I have today.