10 PM Stem Cell Boogie Blog. An attempt to make sense of the most confusing event of my life. Wouldn’t undo it but it’s hard to get through it!

Some days are harder than others. The last few have been the most difficult of all. This has been so tedious that I could scream and all of this agains a backdrop of continual pain. Wish there was some place where I could go to hide for awhile.

Don’t know where that would be because I carry it all right along side in me. So, in that sense, I can’t escape any of this. Right now all I want to do is to endure and escape, just as soon as possible!

I was just rereading my labs from this morinng. My WBC was at 2.2., low normal is 4.

MPV (Mean Platelet Volume) was 9.-1.Low normal is 7,2

O, in my own inexpert opinion, I survived the first phase of the transplant. I currently have all the strength I need for all daily tasks. Hurray! Doesj’t sound very exciting here either

I’ll probably leave on Monday and I feel the worst that I have (except for brief moments) for my entire stay.

If I only have to work on those things that are manifesting themselves right now, it’s going to be a long and, possibly, dangerous journey.

In spite of all of this, it feels wonderful to wake up in the morning and walk to wherever I want to go, And carry things too.

There are times when I can think adequately but they can fade out as quickly as they come. I need to be able to think and to express myself. That’s important to the person that I am.

They’re going to stimulate my blood chemistry again using shots. They want to raise the WBC and the ANC. That shouldn’t be necessary soon. There’s a part of me that wants this all to be normal while maybe recovering from something like the flu.

I was told what this would be like (some of it I figured out for myself from past experience) and the information that described recovery has been correct for the most part.

If it had been any harder, I don’t know if I could have endured it. As irrational as it is, I thought about walking away from it all serveral times. I still have another stressfull 90 days here in Buffalo in front of me before I”ll be permitter to leave the county.

Well, good night everyone!

May you sleep well tonight and have a special day tomorrowe.

More Tomorrow!

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