10 pm Stem Cell Transplant Blog: +Day 17, Replacing your Leukemia With Stem Cells 1 cell at a time!

Hi folks! Here I am again. Still trying to figure out WordPress! Still trying to understand the things I’m dealing with. I was too sick yesterday to write very much and I couldn’t understand why? Confusion is a constant problem for me! Put that together with the memory problems and everything is a challenge.

Yesterday, I inadvertently published “The Pain” while trying to get the blog ready. Sorry. I don’t know how many people got to see it so I’m publishing it again today. I was also going to talk to you about some dreams I was having.

So far, I’ve written up the dreams but not necessarily the CRITIQUE (or not very well).

No sooner did the transplant start than I began having unusual thought and feelings?
Although the sun was shining outside, my impression was of a rather overcast day. Upon walking into a large hall, we were confronted by a large gathering (1,000s), all mingling together in a festive occasion. Such as a family reunion or a birthday party! I was like an honored guest or master of ceremonies (something akin to that).

It was meet and greet,everyone was having a good time. In this casual atmosphere.
I thought that I saw some people whom I knew or, perhaps, was related to! When I went up to meet them they were friendly enough but they chose to distance themselves just a little bit from me.

The harder I looked at them, the more difficult they were for me to see! Finally, focusing on them as hard as I could, their faces and upper bodies were blocked (like a license plate for a TV show or a movie). Didn’t know what to make of that.

The party ended. In what appeared to be several hours later, I saw some similar creatures which had embedded themselves under the concrete foundation outside of a very large building. They appeared semi-conscious or confused. It was a security situation.

They began to attack. There were only a few of them and many of us so they were easily brought down. Still, those were vicious attacks. These were the only signs of conflict during or prior to the transplant.

Shortly thereafter, in the same dream, we could hear a large group of individuals approaching us from the distance. This was the transplant itself. They were disturbed and angry. In the light of the torches (yes, torches!) I could see them more clearly than before. Their upper bodies (if you could call them that) were gnarly and when challenged or angry, opened up, looking quite a bit like teeth or spikes. But, as I mentioned, they were a semi-organized group still a considerable distance away. That’s where the first dream ended.

THE PAIN
All rights reserved. Copyright Bruce M. Goewey

Pain,
Returns again,
Distills my thoughts,
Gives sight to my grief,
And purpose to my guilt
Requires me to exercise faith,
I’ll find relief again.

Pain overwhelms my senses,
Tracing the outlines of my consciousness
With a dull rusted blade,
Touching the conscience of my soul,

It’s a vision
Reminding me of who I am,
And what I’m meant to be!
Both vision and distraction follow me!

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